• Home /
  • Blog / Not the Tory Civil War (Pt II)

Not the Tory Civil War (Pt II)

SoamesBlogSketch_160324.jpg

In an interview about the European Referendum, Nicolas Soames; Tory big-wig; is reported to have recently given his party some advice on the treatment of dogs:

“if you have an alsation in front of you, and it growls at you… you can pat it on the head, in which case it’ll bite you, or you can kick it really hard in the balls”

I guess that they do not teach much practical stuff at Eton……other than how to act in an arrogant and superior manner … possibly useful in Tory Party circles, but …….

Anyway, if he; or the minor underlings that do his bidding; monitor our web-site,  the following may be helpful:

German Shepherd Dogs  - christened Alsations by the tabloid press during the First World War when folk with UKIP/BNP/Tory Loony Right tendencies started to attack and even kill them in Britain (Alsace being a French speaking land on the French/Belgian/German border with many sticky-up eared dogs ) - were bred by farmers to guard them, their cows and sheep.

They are loyal and protective of their owners.

So… faced with a new, unknown person, they will first growl and show a little tooth to try and judge whether they are faced with a threat. 

Sensible folk show the dog the back of their hand (a bit like you would do to the Queen) and engage the owner in quiet conversation.  A waggy tail then usually ensues together with some bright eyes seeking a treat or two… or five.

No-one gets hurt.

Good Labour Governments have acted in a similar manner in the past: Jim Callaghan sent a submarine to the Falklands and an Aircraft Carrier to Kuwait when Argentine / Iraq governments were showing signs of invading these lands. In both cases, peace was maintained.

No-one got hurt.

Compris?

Anyway; back to advice on Nick’s recommended course of action:

It you aim your foot at the balls, and the dog is a ’girl’ (no sticky down bits underneath), well…… you have a problem.

But probably not as big a problem as if the dog is a boy; because your ankle will probably be demolished as your leg goes round the side of the body to try and hit the target…. and then the RSPCA prosecutor will probably get involved (unless he is a fellow ex Etonian or member of another clique)……. and the A&E Junior Doctors may not be that helpful.

 

Do you like this post?

Reactions

Please check your e-mail for a link to activate your account.

The Labour Party will place cookies on your computer to help us make this website better.

Please read this to review the updates about which cookies we use and what information we collect on our site.

To find out more about these cookies, see our privacy notice. Use of this site confirms your acceptance of these cookies.